I wanted to put up a review for The Immortalists today but instead I prefer to get something out of my chest. These ideas have been on my mind for too long and I think it can help other people too.
In the recent years, I have found myself questioning a lot of things about my life. And a lot of times, I was lost. Completely and utterly confused. Am I doing what’s right for me? Is this really the field I want to study? Is this job worth keeping? Should I find something else ? Is this partner right for me?
I think the real reason why I’m feeling lost is people putting up too much pressure on myself. They expect a 20 years old girl to succeed in school and know exactly what she wants to do for the rest of her life. Let me tell you, this would not happen.
I entered University with the beautiful sunshine mindset that I’d become a neurosurgeon and finish school making my parents proud. The first semester of Neurosciences taught me that AINT NO WAY you gonna become a neurosurgeon unless you’re in Medicine. First step on demotivation right here.
And the second semester taught me that neurosciences have its strengths but also its weaknesses. I didn’t like the way the teachers approach the nervous system by dismissing the behaviours and psychology. I was fascinated by the brain but in order to understand it, I needed the science of behaviours. This is when I decided to change majors and applied for Psychology.
This drastic change had not only an impact on my ego but on my family’s pride too. I started with neurosurgeon as a goal and now I’m down to psychology?! Wtf Trang?!
A step down from medicine to social sciences. “Eurgh.”
But along the way, I learned way more about myself and other people in that major than any classes I took in Neurosciences. I learned to cope with anxiety attacks, to know what’s good for my mental health and what are their limits. I experienced grief. I also learned how to cherish the little things in life because it could all go away by tomorrow.
So yes I was lost, yes it took me 4 years to change programs and finish a degree and yes I am still lost.
And you know what I realized? You need to get lost. Take a step back. And reflect.
Allow yourself to experiment new things.
This is how I started new hobbies like blogging about books, enjoying more things on the side, being more open minded.
You must get lost to find yourself.
Everybody has their own path and we should all stop looking into others people achievements as goals. We should look at them as happiness. I am happy for you but that’s it. It’s not because someone is a doctor at 22 that you feel obliged to have the same career. Or the same apartment. Or the same salary.
And by the way, the more I talk to people the more I realized, no one ever has their shi** together.
So it may all be rainbow and sunshine on their Instagram, we all feel lost and that’s something people don’t want to display on social media LOL
So you are in your early twenties? PLEASE FCKN ENJOY IT. You have the energy to go and explore. To try and mistakes.
There are no deadlines for life achievements.
There are no deadlines to find your passion either. Just keep an open mind and allow yourself to accept that there are things you cannot control and that’s okay.
My Dark Theories 
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